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January 25, 2019 – Joke of the Day

Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: “Take two aspirin” and “Keep away from children.”   pic courtesy of clipart-library.com

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January 24, 2019 – Joke of the Day

A guy is walking his dogs when another guy says, “Nice dogs, what are their names?” The guy replies, “Rolex and Omega.” “Rolex and Omega?” asks the other guy. “Yes ….. they’re watch dogs” pic courtesy of clipart-library.com

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January 23, 2019 – Joke of the Day

John got off the elevator on the 50th floor and nervously knocked on his blind date’s door. She opened it and she was as beautiful and charming as everyone had said. “I’ll be ready in a few minutes,” she said.

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January 22, 2019 – Joke of the Day

A woman called the airline customer-service desk asking if she could take her dog on board on her flight the following day. “Sure,” they said, “as long as you provide your own kennel.”  They further explained that the kennel needed

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January 21, 2019 – Joke of the Day

I called my friend I had not seen for quite a while and I asked him how he was doing, what was he up to. He replied that he was working on the aqua thermal treatment of ceramic, glass, aluminum

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January 18, 2019 – Joke of the Day

A husband and wife are having twins, however the husband is out of town. So he calls the brother to please take his wife to the hospital. The wife has the babies and the nurse asked the brother have they

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January 17, 2019 – Joke of the Day

Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm. A couple of days later, the doctor

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January 16, 2019 – Joke of the Day

An elderly retired lady, was going on yet another cruise. While on deck she noticed a handsome, distinguished looking gentleman. She went to the Maître-d and said “See that gentleman – would you please seat him next to me for

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January 15, 2019 – Joke of the Day

A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years

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January 14, 2019 – Joke of the Day

Two hunters, Otis and Elmer, got a pilot to fly them into the Canadian wilderness where they managed to bag two big Bull Moose. As they were loading the plane to return, the pilot said the plane could take only

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January 11, 2019 – Joke of the Day

  An old Irish farmer’s dog goes missing and he’s inconsolable. His wife says: “Why don’t you put an ad in the paper?” The farmer does. Two weeks later the dog is still missing. “What did you put in the

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January 10, 2019 – Joke of the Day

I went into the confessional box after years of being away from the Church. Inside I found a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap. On one wall, there’s a row of decanters with fine Irish whiskey and Waterford crystal

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January 9, 2019 – Joke of the Day

A woman walked into work and was greeted by her boss.  They made small talk, and as he headed to his office, he said, “Have a great day.” She thanked him and took off toward the exit. When he asked

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January 8, 2019 – Joke of the Day

Jim’s doctor tells him he only has one day to live. When Jim goes home, he shares the news with his wife. She asks him what he wants to do with the little time he has left. “All I want,”

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January 7, 2019 – Joke of the Day

A woman in labour suddenly shouted “Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t! Couldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!” “Don’t worry”, said the doc, “those are just contractions”.   Photo courtesy of: Clipart-library.com

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